Not Your Saviour
by Firebreath Scarred
Summary: Upon a suicide attempt Harry Potter is taken into the care of Hogwarts Hospital for Magical Mental Disorders. He starts the long journey back from hell, or should that be the into the hell of his nightmares, his illness, the world he can't save. AU.Trigge


**Authors Note**

**So you're probably thinking, two years later, where the hell has she been? Short story, psychiatric hospital, long story… well I guess a lot of my experiences will come out in this fic. I'm still a part time inpatient, so I won't be able to update as much as I want, but I'll do my best. Hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 1**

**Letters**

Dear world,

I am not your saviour.

I am not your angel and I am not your hero.

And the only way to tell you this is by the bite of the razor upon my skin.

I can't save the world, and the world can't save me. I'm sorry.

Yours in sorrow,

Harry Potter

St Mungoes

Aquarius Ward

Private Owl Post

31st July

Remus,

There's no easy way to tell you this, but Harry has attempted suicide and is at St Mungoes private ward, Aquarius. Lilly and James are in a terrible state. Harry is physically stable, but the extent of his mental condition knows no bounds. We need you Remus, come quickly,

Sirius

St Mungoes

Aquarius Ward

Private Owl Post

1st August

Dear Albus Dumbledore,

Re: Harry James Potter

I am referring Mr Harry James Potter for an urgent assessment at Hogwarts. I know I don't have to tell you that this must be kept completely secret from the press. My recommendation would, if you find it appropriate, for Harry to be treated at Hogwarts for severe clinical depression, and possible schizophrenia.

I saw Harry this morning. On the 30th of July, the day before his birthday, he cut both his wrists with a razorblade, requiring eleven stitches on each arm. It is apparent from the state of his arms and legs that he has been cutting himself for approximately three years on a regular basis, burning himself with magical wands and muggle aerosols for approximately two months. He appears to be severely depersonalised, often lapsing in speech and showing little emotion. He is highly anxious, to the point that he stutters when he did not before. He complains of seeing deatheaters and having to tap his hands repeatedly to magically make them disappear. I believe this is a delusion, there is no magic involved in the process, although it does seem to relieve his frequent panic attacks.

Harry returned into the care of Lily and James Potter after receiving severe neglect and abuse from his relatives the Dursleys aged five. He had originally been placed in their care due to the mental state of Mrs Potter following the fall of Lord Voldemort, for protection from the press and under the belief that he would be happier. He was removed when being strangled by the Dursley's son Dudley, who is much older than Harry, caused the magical wards surrounding the house to go off.

Harry appears to be a bright boy, who normally enjoys Quidditch. He dresses in baggy jeans and hoodies, has messy hair and a distinctive scar shaped like a lightning bolt from the incident at Godric's Hollow. Most significantly Harry is the boy who lived, and his illness may be a result of the unforgivable curse Avada Kedavra that he miraculously survived.

Harry's parents are concerned that having had no knowledge of the extent of his mental condition they are not able to provide him with the expert care his condition needs. They do not get on with Harry, who blames them for his existence and his time at the Dursleys, in spite of them being very loving. I am also concerned for Harry's safety and have recommended he stay in Aquarius until such time that he can be removed. I would say he has a high risk of suicide.

Yours sincerely,

Dr Remus Lupin

Dear Mr and Mrs Potter,

I am pleased to inform you that following the letter and assessment from Dr Lupin, we are pleased to invite you and your son Harry to an assessment at Hogwarts Magical Mental Disorders Unit. Following the condition and assessment of Dr Lupin we feel that Hogwarts may be able to help your son and yourselves through this dark time both in the physical world and in the head of your son.

The assessment will take place on the 15th August, commencing at 10 am and lasting till approximately 3.00pm. We look forward to seeing you there,

Yours sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore


End file.
